He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
