420 ftw
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
