I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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