Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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