bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
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I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize