Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize