My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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