Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
