I'm drive I can fine osifer
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize