So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
