We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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