"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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