the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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