Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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