My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
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