we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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