i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Randomize