i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
