I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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