her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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