I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Sorry about my life...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
