Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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