i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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