so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
