Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
