I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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