Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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