Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
