legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You pole danced in your parka.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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