you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
this is an emotional support booty call
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
