Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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