So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
