Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
