So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
