I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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