I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
