Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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