After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
