Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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