it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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