walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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