so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
