i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
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