She said her name was "party"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
