no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
