Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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