Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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