I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize