He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
