i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
