Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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