We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
