thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
