Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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