I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize