Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
